Step up, show up, bloom

We had the pleasure of spending 30 golden minutes in the company of the powerhouse that is Mariana Hernandez-Delfino. After decades of leading brands and big tech across the globe from WPP and IPG to Google, she’s now with Alastria, leading the charge for innovation, digital identity, and blockchain-based services. She’s on the SeedRocket advisory board and a partner at The Spanish Association of Executives and Board Members (EJE&CON), championing more women in senior roles across the country. 

Amongst ALL of this, she somehow managed to find the time to pen her new book Bloom! We found out more about what inspired her to write and there´s some pearls of wisdom for any leader to pocket. How nice is that? 

Your new book, Bloom!, opens with a deep dive into purpose. What moment or moments in your career have made you realise that purpose, not just skill building, was a missing piece in how women navigate tech careers?

Mariana: "I would say it was at several moments across my career, and it was progressive. The realisation got more profound as time was passing by and I was becoming more mature as a senior leader and a manager. Of course, when I was a junior, I wasn't thinking a lot about this. My purpose was simply to show up, have fun, be very competitive, and grow.

At the point when I started to be in charge of people things shifted. Starting with smaller teams, then bigger teams, and then a region, I began to realise the importance of the human part of working life. Nobody taught me that. Thanks to my background in psychology and data statistics, I became increasingly aware of that. I made the call to train myself to not only be a good manager from a technical point of view, but to get under the skin of the human drivers that help develop the careers of complex and colourful people. 

Firstly, it was all about performance. When you manage people, you need to understand their talents, how they connect with the work, what their passions are, and how you can get the best from them. When you lead high-performing teams, you need to be responding to high demands every day. It's not enough just to have clear KPIs, OKRs, processes, and models; you need to have real intrinsic motivation and passion. This is fundamental not only in technology, but in any fast-paced sector.

Then I started to do a second deep dive within myself, and it was related to the way women in my teams were connecting with their roles and their goals. I started to feel this difference between the men and the women who were reporting to me, and I was like, "Oh, wow, this is interesting." I started to see that as a mirror, thinking, "Do I also feel not ready for this? Or when do I feel I am not enough, or what's going on here?" I felt that difference too.

Purpose for me was the consequence of understanding that the best way to relate with your work life is with integrity, connection with your passions, and bringing your own self to your work.

We used to say that at Google, and I love that phrase: “bring your own self”; bring everything you have, not only your professional life, but everything. 

At some point, I also started to erase the line between professional and personal life. I don't think there really is a line. You are a whole person, and you bring all your things to your work life: your problems, your joys, your values, your talents, your experiences, your thoughts. 

When I was living in Mexico, before I moved to Madrid the second time, I took an executive postgraduate diploma course. It was really interesting because it was about scientific research related to well-being psychology. It’s worth remembering that only 20% of the population has some sort of mental illness; 80% are actually doing okay. That's data from the World Health Organization. The majority of people are trying to live well, lead healthy working lives, create families, and connect socially with friends. We're trying to be happy, as best we can. 

It was like a new branch of psychology that was not only about mental illness, like neurosis, psychosis, and all the craziness, which has been the focus of psychology for a hundred years. It was also about health-based psychology. What we humans do to be motivated, to be happy, to be doing what we want every day- what gets us out of bed in the morning. That was one of the triggers for me to identify that purpose concept, and I discovered that it was inside myself. 

If you think about the strengths-based leadership framework, the research says that teams that are working knowing their strengths and putting them in action are twice as effective, dynamic, and creative. I'm really interested in that strengths-based leadership framework because traditionally, in big corporations, we're always trying to fix problems and generate new skills: "You're not good at this, you should do this; you're not good at that, you should do that." If we don't know our strengths or have undiscovered talents, we can’t put them into action.

When I discovered that framework from Gallup my team and I all did the test to discover more about our strength profiles, and then discussed how different we were, and how we could complement each other. Someone was really detail-oriented, while another had a more holistic point of view and saw the big picture. That also helped me to bring the right mix of people together and to distribute tasks in a way that matched the skill sets and personalities. Why would you put a person who is not very detail-oriented to do all the tracking of results just because you want to make him or her better? At the time, this was quite groundbreaking, and now it’s super popular, with a lot of books written about it.

It was like a melting pot of my background in psychology, then working in tech, managing teams, observing what was happening, and at some point realising that I needed to understand the purpose that I had working so many hours every day.

The salary, the perks, everything that they give you is not enough to sustain you in a very high-demanding career if you don't have a purpose. A purpose is your north star, a way of inspiring you to persevere and find your way through the challenges."

"One of the main ones that I'm kind of sick of talking about because it's so common is imposter syndrome. It’s still everywhere. A recent UK survey by Hays has found that 70 per cent of women have had feelings of imposter syndrome at some point in their careers, compared with just 58 per cent of men. 

At surface level it’s like: "okay, we all have a little bit of imposter syndrome," and we used to say "fake it till you make it." In technology, it's a very dynamic sector. You have to be updated every day with so much new news: new products, new innovations, ideas and concepts. Huge innovations like artificial intelligence require yet another training course and glossary of terms. You need to process a high volume of new information day by day, week by week. It's insane. It’s inevitable that at some point you feel that it's too difficult to reach your goals. I felt this many times because it was so intensely demanding. I think the system is designed for that: you can never reach the goal because it's humanly impossible. You only have 24 hours and one brain, and you are being motivated by a precious carrot that keeps moving further and further away.  

There's a process of emotional self-regulation and self-discipline that is important to put in place so you don't feel overwhelmed or burned out; that's so common in dynamic sectors.

But if you go deeper, which I did when I started my research as the basis of the book, you see beyond that. The majority of women in my technology environments and other companies I was working with at that time started to show a difference in the way they related and identified with their technology careers compared to men.

I would see the women reporting to me not asking for promotions, not asking for a salary raise, not asking for more work or projects, not as assertive and strong as the men. All the men were pitching: "I want a promotion, I want to grow, I want another project, I want to go with you to that meeting." And I was thinking, "Oh my god, you just got a promotion last year! Why would you want a promotion again? Hold your horses." I wondered why this was happening, and so I started to have conversations to get a closer understanding of the root cause. 

If you think about the origins of Silicon Valley or Asia 25 years ago, it was an adventure designed by men for men. The majority of founders were men in Google, Meta, Amazon, PayPal, all these companies starting this revolution. When you work in a sector that traditionally has been more masculine, women tend to absorb the gender stereotype subconsciously. You start to feel that you are less capable, less competitive, or less bold, and you start acting more modest and stay for longer in your lane: "I'm not sure if I want a promotion." You absorb the false belief that as a newcomer in technology, you are not as competitive or capable as the men who founded these amazing companies and created these amazing products. That is the core challenge that we have in technology as women."

"We are living this revolution that is growing every day, and it's going to be more intense and articulated into new systems. We have really good regulations in Europe, which is cool, because I believe it's extremely important to live in a space that is concerned about regulation—you don't see that as much in Mexico or the US.

There are important consequences regarding the participation of women in the AI sector. There's currently a lag—a gap in adoption between women and men. There are several initiatives working to address that in Europe. When women connect with technology in some way because of their work, they would be closer to using AI solutions, whether an LLM or an agent. But if the field of work is not related to technology, there's less curiosity or closeness to the use and possibilities of AI than for men. The initiatives to close that gap are really interesting, like Women in Tech in Spain and all the communities in Valencia. It's really important for women to keep up to date with AI because it's going to be the future very soon.

There's another consequence that I really love: the skills required to manage AI solutions in an effective way in work environments are what we used to call "soft skills"—I hate the word soft, because I believe they are very powerful and strong. They are responsibility, ethics, critical and strategic thinking, creativity, and communication with strong values to guide the systems. Those are capabilities that register highly in women. So how these skills are going to be able to shape AI in the future will be really important."

“Florecer” in Spanish sounds corny. The best translation I found for a hint of the meaning is prosperar - to thrive. I use flourish and thrive as the same concept. Arianna Huffington of course, talks a lot about thriving as well. Thriving is when you put all your skills, talents, creative side, and strengths into place to be the best version of yourself you can be. That could be a stretch, but it's not a stressful or painful stretch—it's positive and motivating because you are expanding your capabilities. Sometimes this relates to growing in your career, but it can also relate to changing direction and taking another route.

I’ve explored a lot of research around what makes human beings advance and be the best versions of themselves. I explain this diagrammatically in the book. Imagine that you can move along in a linear way, which works fine. But then there's a space of optimal development when you make the most of your abilities, talents, and strengths, and allow yourself to expand. That is to flourish, thrive, prosper. When you know your strengths and talents, put them into practice, and expand into them, you can be in the thriving model because you would be doing what you know how to do in a very energetic, motivated way, giving the best you can give to your job environment and to yourself.

Thriving feels positive in terms of mental and physical health; you feel happy, joyful, and satisfied. Of course there are problems in life—I'm not saying "don't worry, be happy," I hate fake happiness—but it's a space in which you can develop your best self while coping with life's challenges. When you know your strengths and have worked on yourself, self-confidence and resilience are key, because you know you can weather a storm.

There's a smart process: first you have to define what your skills and strengths are. It's a bit like defining emotions: when working with kids who have emotional problems, identifying and naming the feeling helps unpack what it means. Research says the majority of us have only like 10 words to define 10 different emotions, so if you don't have the vocabulary in the first place, you won't get into a new place.

Everything I wrote about how women relate to the technology sector is because when we talk about diversity, we tend to think it's a justice principle or generosity: "We have to be generous, we have to fill a quota." My thesis in the book is that diversity is a matter of business. When you have a more diverse sector in technology, the sector becomes more innovative, resilient, effective, and profitable. McKinsey, Harvard, Columbia, and the Singapore Management Institute have all been studying how diversity is a driving force for developing the sector. Technology is shaping the world at the core of everything else—medicine, construction, tourism, education, food. That's why this is an important conversation. It's not just a feminist point of view to defend "poor women"—I'm thinking about business."

"I'm a data person and I don't believe in personal opinions when it's about presenting a professional argument. If you're talking about what dessert you prefer, chocolate fondant versus creme brulée, then opinions are most welcome. I knew I had to put my personal biases to one side to write the kind of book that is genuinely useful. It had to be grounded, rigorous, and designed as a tool for managers, coaches, and women in technology. I read hundreds of research studies related to the behaviour and performance of women in technology sectors and drew conclusions and insights accordingly. Every single conclusion relates to different global, European, or US studies. Data-based thinking is fundamental."

What pearls of wisdom would you pass on?

"First of all, I would tell her that it's possible she's going to feel not enough, insecure, or wanting to hide and not raise her hand. That lack of self-confidence can happen. When this feeling takes you by surprise and nobody explains it to you, you think it's true and that you aren't capable. Once I started feeling that early on, I had to mentally deconstruct myself and say, "This is not true." Read the research: it's not you; it's something coming from the way the sector has been evolving. Look for the exceptions and confident female role models. There may not be many but seek them out. As the saying goes, “You can’t be it if you can’t see it.” 

Understand your talents and strengths and question beliefs that refrain you from being your best. Get a coach or a mentor in your company who can give advice and guidance. I had several mentors who showed me what was possible.

The landscape is changing. This generation of new leaders will be more aware of the need for psychological safety. When I was younger, if you said something expansive in a meeting, your boss would say words to the effect of "What? Are you stupid?". Now, every idea is welcome and challenged in a more considered way. I'm so happy when I get an objection or a different point of view because it broadens my perspective. But you have to provide psychological safety so people know it's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are the only way of growing.

And to bring our thought-provoking chat to a close, the three main intentions of the book are:

1. Diversity is not a matter of justice or generosity; it's a matter of business.

2. The change we need to see with more diversity has to start within women, not waiting for policies or governments. We need to step up now.

3. Your career is not just what happens to you when you go to an office every day; your career is more than your different jobs and employers. It's your personal professional path."

Follow Mariana on LinkedIn for more wisdom from Bloom! And Spanish speakers can grab a copy here. 

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